English Tutor Dad

I’ve read three books since my last learning update. Deep Work, Journaling Power and The Let Them Theory.

Deep Work by Cal Newport

I’ve always been interested in how to be more focused, as we’re living in a very distracting world and it’s probably only going to get worse. So, I was drawn to a book called Deep Work by Cal Newport.

My biggest distraction is the news, on the TV for sure, but mainly on the Internet. I did an experiment last year where I gave up the news for one week. It was amazing, like one of the best holidays I have ever been on – except I was at home. I still reminisce about it now. It was like a holiday in a foreign country. 🙂

It makes logical sense to take a news break again or even do it permanently but my drug of choice is hard to kick. As with any long term drug user, if you give it up, you have to replace it with something. Reading, English students and writing seem to be the best replacements. Maybe also more walking when the weather gets cooler here.

The main takeaways from the Deep Work book were:

• A big part of doing more focused work, is removing the distractions. The author was very much against the distraction of social media. And so am I.
• He was very much against the open plan office. And so am I.
• He likes to do his hardest work first thing in the morning, as that’s when you have the most concentration and willpower. I’ve read about this in another book called Eat That Frog, where you do your hardest task first. I really agree with this concept.
• He likes the concept of time-blocking, where you schedule your whole day. I struggle with this concept. But he does say if your plans change or a task takes longer than expected, you amend your schedule for the day and I think that is smart. It’s kind of like my future plans. I have a plan but I’m not afraid to re-write the plan if circumstances or motivations change.
• Time-blocking also reduces the time you take to switch tasks. That can be a real time waster. I tend to have a fair amount of down time (a break) when I switch between tasks.
• You need to train your concentration by avoiding the quick distractions of the Internet. Sometimes you just have to embrace the boredom.
• In the book, scheduling your leisure time was quite an interesting concept. Rather than just getting distracting by something on the Internet, it can be far more rewarding doing something meaningful with your spare time.
• Keeping a scoreboard of your accomplishments comes up in this book and other books I’ve read on the subject. I’ve started doing this for the number of books I’ve read, a blog post each week and the number of students I talk to each week.

I really enjoyed Cal Newport’s writing style so I will be checking out some of his other books.

Journaling Power by Mari McCarthy

I read another book called Journaling Power by Mary McCarthy. It was just alright as a book. I thought the chapter on setting goals via journaling was the most valuable part of the book. Unfortunately, I thought there was too much self promotion of her website within the book. I think it’s okay to mention your website at the end of the book but it kind of annoys me if it’s throughout the book. I also wonder if the book is as good as it could be or is it holding things back to put the more useful information into products from the website.

Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

Now The Let Them Theory book I found really interesting. I’ve known about the book for a while but I’ve hesitated to read it. I’ve read one of her other books The Five Second Rule and I felt like with that book she took one concept and wrote a whole book about one technique.

I do like the ‘Let Them’ concept though. It’s hard to explain but I’ll try.

It’s basically a way of dealing with annoying people. A way of distancing yourself from other people’s opinions and behaviour. If someone is taking over your thoughts with their bad opinions or behaviour you just say to yourself ‘Let Them, Let Them, Let Them’ because you can’t control other people’s behaviour. People are always going to have opinions and behave badly. It makes you feel a little bit above the bad behaviour when you use this technique. A little bit superior.

The other part to it is, which is very important, is the ‘Let Me’ concept. You have to decide what you can do in the bad situation. You don’t have control over people’s behaviour but you have control over your own behaviour, your own decisions, your own learning. You can’t control other people but you can control yourself.

You can also use ‘Let Them’ to control your own negative thoughts. Instead of getting sucked into your thoughts. You repeat ‘Let Them’ to yourself to create some distance from your thoughts.

The other passage that stood out to me was that her therapist said that most adults have the emotional capability of an eight year old. A lot of people didn’t grow up and emotionally mature properly. The ‘most people’ part applies to yourself as well. I find this funny as my saying is normally “People are doing their best” due to their nature and nuture when they were young. It’s a very similar concept.

Now I do believe that I am a bit more emotionally mature than an eight year old. I think more like a nine year old. 🙂

I think this book is similar to the last book the author wrote and it is one concept that is expanded into a whole book. Often books have to be a bit repetitive and I think this helps change the way you think, you start seeing how the author thinks, you get inside their mind and this helps you model their smart behaviour. But, I think the book could have been half the size and I think there is a temptation in this book that the one concept will fix everything.

People do like this book though, people are getting ‘Let Them’ tattoos. I think it really helps people focus on their goals and lets other people’s behaviour be treated as just ‘noise’.

Journaling Prompt

I always end the post with a journaling prompt, as I am a huge fan of journaling.

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? This could relate to a job or something you could do in your spare time. Aim very high with your answer.

Toorak Library, part of my challenge to visit all the libraries in Melbourne.